{"id":1514,"date":"2014-01-10T23:58:48","date_gmt":"2014-01-10T23:58:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.foxnwolf.com\/locknload\/?p=1514"},"modified":"2014-01-10T23:58:48","modified_gmt":"2014-01-10T23:58:48","slug":"the-first-snow-in-canada","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/foxnwolf.com\/locknload\/?p=1514","title":{"rendered":"The First Snow in Canada"},"content":{"rendered":"
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December 8:\u00a0\u00a0 6:00 PM.\u00a0 It started to<\/b> <\/i><\/b>snow.\u00a0 <\/b><\/p>\n

The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven.\u00a0 It looked like a Grandma Moses Print.\u00a0 So romantic we felt like newlyweds again.\u00a0 <\/b><\/p>\n

I love snow!<\/p>\n

December 9:\u00a0 We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape.\u00a0 What a fantastic sight!\u00a0 Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World?\u00a0 Moving here was the best idea I’ve ever
\nhad.\u00a0 Shoveled for the first time in years, felt like a boy again.\u00a0 I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again.\u00a0 <\/b><\/p>\n

A perfect life.<\/p>\n

December 12:\u00a0 The sun has melted all our lovely snow.\u00a0 Such a
\ndisappointment.\u00a0 My neighbor tells me not to worry, we’ll definitely have a white Christmas.\u00a0 No snow on Christmas would be awful!\u00a0 Bob says we’ll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I’ll never want to see snow again.I don’t think that’s possible.\u00a0\u00a0 <\/b><\/p>\n

Nice man, I’m glad he’s our neighbor.<\/p>\n

December 14:\u00a0 Snow, lovely snow!\u00a0 8″ last night.\u00a0 The temperature dropped to -20.\u00a0 The cold makes everything sparkle so.\u00a0 The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks.\u00a0 This is the life!\u00a0 The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again.\u00a0 I didn’t realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I’ll certainly get back in shape this way.\u00a0 <\/b><\/p>\n

I wish I wouldn’t huff and puff so.<\/p>\n

December 15:\u00a0 20 inches forecast.\u00a0 Sold my van and bought a 4×4 Blazer.Bought snow tires for the wife’s car and two extra shovels.\u00a0 Stocked the freezer.\u00a0 The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out.\u00a0 I think that’s silly.\u00a0 <\/b><\/p>\n

We aren’t in Alaska, after all.<\/b>….we’re in ALBERTA !<\/b><\/p>\n

December 16:\u00a0\u00a0 Ice storm this morning.\u00a0 Fell on my ass on the
\nice in the driveway putting down salt.\u00a0 Hurt like hell.
\nThe wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.<\/p>\n

December 17:\u00a0 Still way below freezing.
\nRoads are too icy to go anywhere.\u00a0 Electricity was off for five hours.\u00a0 I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her.\u00a0 Guess I should’ve bought a wood stove, but won’t admit it to her.\u00a0 God I hate it when she’s right.\u00a0 I can’t believe I’m freezing to death in my own living room.<\/p>\n

December 20:\u00a0 Electricity’s back on, but had another 14″ of the damn stuff last night.\u00a0 More shoveling.\u00a0 Took all day. Goddamn snowplow came by twice.\u00a0 Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they’re too busy playing hockey.\u00a0 I think they’re lying.\u00a0 Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower, and they’re out.\u00a0 Might have another shipment in March.\u00a0 I think they’re lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me.\u00a0 <\/b><\/p>\n

I think he’s lying.<\/p>\n

December 22:\u00a0 Bob was right about a white Christmas, because 13 more inches of the white shit fell today, and it’s so cold it probably won’t melt ’til August.\u00a0 Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel, and then I had to pee. By the time I got undressed, peed and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel!\u00a0 Tried to hire Bob, who has a plow on his truck, for the rest of the winter; but he says he’s too busy.\u00a0 <\/b><\/p>\n

I think the asshole is lying.<\/p>\n

December 23:\u00a0 Only 2″ of snow today,and it warmed up to “0”.\u00a0 The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the
\nhouse this morning.\u00a0 What, is she nuts!!!
\nWhy didn’t she tell me to do that a month ago? <\/b><\/p>\n

She says she did, but I think she’s lying.<\/p>\n

December 24:\u00a0 6″Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel.\u00a0 Thought I was having a heart attack.\u00a0 If I ever catch the son-of-a-bitch who drives that snowplow, I’ll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel.\u00a0 I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over everywhere I’ve just been!\u00a0 Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the Goddamn snowplow.<\/p>\n

December 25:\u00a0 Merry F!=3D@x@!x!x1 Christmas.\u00a0 20 more inches of the !=3D@x@!x!x1 slop tonight.\u00a0 Snowed in.\u00a0 The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil.\u00a0 God, I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel.\u00a0 The wife says I have a bad attitude.\u00a0 I think she’s a f–king idiot.\u00a0 If I have to watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” one more time, I’m going to stuff her into the microwave.<\/p>\n

December 26:\u00a0 Still snowed in.
\nWhy the hell did I ever move here?\u00a0 It was all HER idea.
\n<\/b><\/p>\n

She’s really getting on my nerves.<\/p>\n

December 27: Temperature dropped to -30, and the pipes froze.\u00a0 Plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him; he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.<\/p>\n

December 28:\u00a0 Warmed up to above -30.\u00a0 Still snowed in.\u00a0 The BITCH is driving me crazy!!!!!<\/p>\n

December 29:\u00a0 10 more inches.\u00a0 Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in.\u00a0 That’s the silliest thing I ever heard.\u00a0 How dumb does he think I am?<\/p>\n

December 30:\u00a0 Roof caved in.\u00a0 I beat up the snow plow driver.\u00a0 He is now suing me for a million dollars; not for only the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass.\u00a0 The wife went home to her mother.\u00a0 Another 9″ of snow predicted.<\/p>\n

December 31:\u00a0 I set fire to what’s left of the house.\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

No more shoveling.<\/p>\n

January 1:\u00a0 Feel so good.\u00a0 I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Why am I tied to the bed ?<\/b><\/p>\n

from CHW in London, Ontario…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

December 8:\u00a0\u00a0 6:00 PM.\u00a0 It started to snow.\u00a0 The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven.\u00a0 It looked … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1514","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxnwolf.com\/locknload\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1514","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxnwolf.com\/locknload\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxnwolf.com\/locknload\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxnwolf.com\/locknload\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxnwolf.com\/locknload\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1514"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/foxnwolf.com\/locknload\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1514\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1515,"href":"https:\/\/foxnwolf.com\/locknload\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1514\/revisions\/1515"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxnwolf.com\/locknload\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1514"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxnwolf.com\/locknload\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1514"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxnwolf.com\/locknload\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1514"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}